You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t!

Nowadays we have more doubts, lockdown doubts, affecting our thoughts and actions as the virus impacts our lives. Thoughts crossing our minds: Did government make the right decisions by enforcing lockdown? As a parent do I send my child to school? Do I choose education over health? Do I continue working or operating my business or do I cut my losses and probably the most daunting one of all, am I making the right decision? The balance is a tricky one and no matter what, you are accountable for whatever decision you take. You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t! This idiom is now more widely uttered, especially as we find ourselves in the midst of emotional, financial, social, spiritual adversity, just to name a few, and having to make decisions forced on us by the pandemic. Often, I feel that I am stuck between a rock and a hard place with these difficult situations having increased tremendously during this time.

With a heavy heart, I decided not to reopen the School Aftercare that I run from my property, alleviating the risks factors and having to accept with this decision the loss of income as well. My 21-year -old on the other hand, decided to continue with her university studies. As a student she has to do fieldwork and she was placed in a clinic to get her required hours before she will be able to graduate this year. Every day for her is like living on the edge and as a parent I wish that it was not so. Then we still have to make a decision for my 14-year-old who managed to do only two months of her first year of high school. We will have to decide if she will return to school when school reopens for her grade. She does have a comorbidity which is asthma and based on what we know at this time, people with certain conditions like asthma, might be at an increased risk for severe illness if they contract the virus.

These are the days of our lives and unfortunately not the best days of our lives. We will also find that hope is fading in the midst of many changing conditions. On top of that we have the endless questioning and worrying over how we will survive these extraordinary times. Nothing about our situations are easy right now. This thought comes to mind that might lighten the mood – The way this pandemic crept up on us is like when you have that urge to pee and you still on your way to the bathroom or you considering to go to the bathroom and all of a sudden you sneezed and without thinking you did it, you peed, even if it’s just a wee bit, you did. Even though you did, your life is not over, all you need to do is change. Maybe my example is not applicable to all, but I hope I got you to smile, even if it’s just a wee bit. I believe, once these decisions are made, we have to find a way to cope and live the best we can. We have to continue hoping for better days to come and I am reminded of the quote by Marcus Tullius Cicero: “While there’s life, there’s hope.”  In my household I am a supporter of supporters (ARMY) and love hearing my girls preaching the saying from RM of BTS: “Today I am, who I am, with all my faults and mistakes. These faults and mistakes are what I am, making up the brightest stars in the constellation of my life.”